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1/14/14

A Dildo Full of Pot.

I traveled to Fargo, ND this past weekend.  Some of you may question that choice. Fargo in January? you may ask. What the hell is wrong with you? you may ask. I get that. I felt the same way. A fall concert* at the Fargodome was rescheduled for January 11 and I myself asked, Fargo, in January? *Who the hell goes there intentionally in January? But the polar vortex had passed and the weather cooperated nicely so I went.

When we made it to the door where the man stood with his purse poker* I asked him what sorts of fun things he has come across in his job as a purse poker at the Fargodome. Completely expecting to hear about feminine hygiene products, I was happily surprised with his answer.

"There was a woman who had two personal pleasure devices in her purse. The battery cap came off of one of them and it was full of joints."

We had to hurry through the door so I didn't have a chance to ask for details like what he did with the sex toys or whose concert merited dildo contraband. I imagined a 42 year old woman in leopard print leggings at a Rick Springfield concert dancing stoned with a vibrator in her pants screaming RIIIICK! I LOVE YOU!  I WANNA BE YOUR GIRL! In this case, however, she may not have been stoned since the authorities probably had her pot. (Not talking about me here. I'm 43. And I don't wear leggings anymore.)

I learned from my sister tonight that
this man did not sing 867-5309.
That was Tommy Tutone.
Every day I learn something new!




*The concert was Pink's Truth About Love tour - but is irrelevant to the story. (It was great though!)

*I am not trying to disrespect Fargo or the lovely people that live there. My parents come from a place even farther north and I visit often. I just think it is a location better visited in warmer months.

*Purse poker is the name I have given to the 12 inch white stick the security people use to poke around in purses looking for weapons and drugs and booze. (and apparently the sex toys they are hidden in.)

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