My Cleavage Looks Like a Butt

Thirteen years ago when I was little Maggie's nanny she wanted to read a story on the couch. She had her book in one hand and with the other she grabbed the collar of my sweatshirt to pull herself up onto my lap. One second later the book was in the air and Maggie had jumped back onto the floor. Her pudgy little arms were flailing and she was trying to catch her breath. She pointed at my chest nearly in tears and screamed, "There's a BOTTOM in there!" In her mind, my soft comfortable lap and chest had just become the place where I hid small children upside down and naked. It scared the hell out of her. I explained that those were my boobs and all women had them, which she doubted because her "mommy didn't have those."  We talked about different body shapes and sizes and eventually she calmed down and felt safe enough to get back on my lap and we read our book.

A few days ago my boobs were mistaken for a butt again, this time by two year old Tommy. He was doing exactly what Maggie had done and was using my shirt as a hand hold for climbing up onto my lap. His reaction was one of curiousity, however. He did not panic like Maggie.  He stuck his hand down my shirt, looked at me and said "potty?" I said, "no, not potty. Breasts." He said "beshts" and then put his hand by my butt and said, "potty." I said, "Yep." and that was that. Boys are easier - at least when it comes to boob education.

I wasn't going to put pictures of cleavage on here - you all know what it looks like. And I also do not want this blog to be known as a porn blog.  Then I realized that it already may be showing up on searches for words like vagina, vulva, penis, gay Travis and boobs - and I already have a picture of cleavage from the bra post so I thought, what the hell. Too late now. So here you go: some cleavage that looks like butts.

Neither set of boobs is mine.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Yeah! I knew it would make a good story!

Kelly from writing group!