Three Non-Lesbians

I am not a lesbian. I am not opposed to being a lesbian but the fact is that I am not a lesbian. On several occasions I have been mistaken for a lesbian though. Which is fine, but since I am not a lesbian and am in search of a male partner, it is in my best interest to be perceived as straight.

About 18 years ago, I often babysat for my good friend, Barbara, which involved occasionally picking up her third grade son at his after school day care program. Every single time I showed up, Tyler would yell, "I have to go! My mom's girlfriend is here."  I am not certain that the caregivers there thought I was gay, but they were extra friendly to me in a 'we are not judging you' way and they definitely eyed my Birkenstocks, cut off jeans and brown plaid shirts longer than most people. It probably didn't help that Barbara was divorced shortly after we met... and was all rock and roll graphic designer hot mama with her chunky heeled combat boots, leather pants, long chain necklaces and funky thrift store jackets... and we spent most of our time together hanging out with her two kids... and went out at night to the bars together... sometimes the gay bar... oh shit. Maybe we were lesbians. But I am definitely not now.

 Here we are: me and Barbara (who, although also not opposed to being a lesbian, would like it stated
that we never had lesbian sex. Her sons may read this and do not need that image in their heads. I agree. 
Neither does my dad and he reads this too.)

You know who else is not a lesbian? Tyler. One day while we were driving home when he was about eight I asked him if he had been on any dates. He was disgusted. "EEEWW. I don't like girls!!" Being a liberal open minded babysitter who does not want to presume anyone's sexual orientation or limit a child's world view I asked if he'd had any dates with boys. He stated, "Cami. I am not a LESBIAN." I told him he was right and that he never would be a lesbian. And that was that. And, today, at age 25 he is still a non-lesbian.

Tyler did not like girls.

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