It might surprise people who know how polite I am to know that sometimes* I fart. Loudly. When this happens at work (nannying) some kids will just look at me a little shocked - probably because I am so quiet and polite most of the time. Most kids ignore me or yell "EW, GROSS! You farted!" To which I reply, "Don't say fart, say toot, please. And my toots smell like flowers so there is nothing gross about them." To which kids reply, "We don't believe you. We're gonna ask your sister if your toots smell like flowers." To which my sister replies, "Cami's toots smell like toots. Don't believe her." To which I reply, "Believe me. They smell like flowers...."
After nearly fifteen years and just as many kids, I got a brand new reaction to my farting today. I was standing next to a two year old who is just starting to talk and right after my fart he looked up at me all wide eyed, smiley and excited and yelled "TAH-DAH!!" He knows how to properly use tah-dah since we use it frequently - for things like getting the plastic triangle into the triangle shaped hole, or making a play-doh snowman, or after cleaning up a big mess. But never have I said it for a fart. Anyone's fart. Maybe today I finally farted flowers.
When I say sometimes I mean rarely. I don't go around farting in your house all day at work. It's just that sometimes they happen without advanced warning and make an unexpectedly loud noise. I always say excuse me. I am a good nanny and am not teaching bad manners. The kids may tell you otherwise, but they are cute little liars.