I don't think Shoranne and her team looked very hard. I got farther than they did just with a two minute visit to Guinness Book of World Records' website.*
This came today:
Thanks for your patience Cami.
I’m so sorry to disappoint you, but we do not have any information on where the
Guinness Book of World Records’ largest toilet roll is.
Thanks again for writing.
I believe that is pure bullshit. I do suppose they have very important customer service inquiries to deal with, things much more pressing than my inquiry about the giant roll - maybe things like why bears who never wear clothes have laundry to do.... But that email has to be bullshit. Someone certainly knows where it is.
Should I write back and say I am part of a community of giants in need of a toilet paper supplier? I think they'd look harder if they thought there might be a profit.
*Will someone please click that link and, after getting heebie jeebied by the whacky eyeball lady and the folded in half lady, tell me what the hell the person wrapped in colorful cord is all about? Thank you.